TOP GIRLS by Caryl Churchill

Act II Scene I 

SHONA 
My present job at present. I have a car. I have a 
Porsche. I go up the M1 a lot. Burn up the M1 a 
lot. Straight up the M1 in the fast lane to where 
the clients are, Staffordshire, Yorkshire, I do a lot 
in Yorkshire. I’m selling electric things. Like 
dishwashers, washing machines, stainless steel 
tubs are a feature and the reliability of the 
programme. After sales service, we offer a very 
good after sales service, spare parts, plenty of 
spare parts. And fridges, I sell a lot of fridges 
specially in the summer. People want to buy 
fridges in the summer because of the heat 
melting the butter and you get fed up standing the 
milk in a basin of cold water with a cloth over, 
stands to reason people don’t want to do that in 
this day and age. So I sell a lot of them. Big ones 
with big freezers. Big freezers. And I stay in 
hotels at night when I’m away from home. On my 
expense account. I stay in various hotels. They 
know me, the ones I go to. I check in, have a 
bath, have a shower. Then I go down to the bar, 
have a gin and tonic, have a chat. Then I go into 
the dining room and have dinner. I usually have 
fillet steak and mushrooms, I like mushrooms. I 
like smoked salmon very much. I like having a 
salad on the side. Green salad. I don’t like 
tomatoes.