Monday, 1 August 2016

Daughter by Elana Gartner

Daughter

By Elana Gartner

The middle of Act I, Scene 3. The public library in Ewing, New Jersey. There is a table with several chairs. There is a pile of books on it. MILLIE, 32 year old biker chick, is talking with her biological daughter, ROBYN, 16, who has pretended that she is her friend, ALEXIS, who is also present, and that ALEXIS is ROBYN.

MILLIE:
Right. Boyfriends. Right. So one night, at the campground, this guy comes through. And he's really wild. And he just had this energy... you just wanted to be with him all the time, you know? And, out of everyone there, he wanted to be with me. He stayed at Blackbird Perch for a good week or so. And I stayed with him every single night. And he was a fantastic lover.
(beat) That's probably not the stuff I should be telling you about your dad. You probably don't want to be hearing that kind of stuff. Anyhow, he was wild and dreamy. I really thought this was it. I thought "Wow. This is it. This is what it's really like to be in love." Or whatever that means. At sixteen, can you imagine? And, there he was, just talking to me, spending every waking minute with me, looking up at the stars with me every night. It was like a dream. Really. I thought I'd died right there and gone to heaven. But.
(beat) One morning, he was out in the woods, looking for some berries or something. And, you know, he just must have lost track of where he was and wandered way off into another part of the forest where people are really not supposed to go. I mean, he had a pretty good sense of direction so you had to think he knew something but he wandered right into the hunting area. And, wouldn't you know it?
(SHE puts a finger to her head like a gun and makes gunshot noise.)
Just like that. Really quick, too. The hunter found him immediately and tried to get help but it was too late. A friend of my uncle's, actually. They used to hunt together all the time. And he just felt terrible. Never forgave himself. Even stopped hunting for a while. And, after his funeral, that's when I found out. I was pregnant with...
(SHE looks at ROBYN then at ALEXIS)
...you.
(Beat) I wanted to keep you but my mom wouldn't let me. She said that the baby was going to bring bad spirits on the family. She even closed Blackbird Perch after that. Sold it. She said it had bad juju. I never really believed that kind of stuff. But she marched me right to the clinic and signed me up to have you adopted. I never even got to hold you in the hospital. They took you right away. But I was always mad about it. So, when my mom died last year, I made up my mind to try to find you.

Daughter by Elana Gartner

Daughter

By Elana Gartner

The middle of Act I, Scene 3. The public library in Ewing, New Jersey. There is a table with several chairs. There is a pile of books on it. MILLIE, 32 year old biker chick, is talking with her biological daughter, ROBYN, 16, who has pretended that she is her friend, ALEXIS, who is also present, and that ALEXIS is ROBYN.

MILLIE:
Right. Boyfriends. Right. So one night, at the campground, this guy comes through. And he's really wild. And he just had this energy... you just wanted to be with him all the time, you know? And, out of everyone there, he wanted to be with me. He stayed at Blackbird Perch for a good week or so. And I stayed with him every single night. And he was a fantastic lover.
(beat) That's probably not the stuff I should be telling you about your dad. You probably don't want to be hearing that kind of stuff. Anyhow, he was wild and dreamy. I really thought this was it. I thought "Wow. This is it. This is what it's really like to be in love." Or whatever that means. At sixteen, can you imagine? And, there he was, just talking to me, spending every waking minute with me, looking up at the stars with me every night. It was like a dream. Really. I thought I'd died right there and gone to heaven. But.
(beat) One morning, he was out in the woods, looking for some berries or something. And, you know, he just must have lost track of where he was and wandered way off into another part of the forest where people are really not supposed to go. I mean, he had a pretty good sense of direction so you had to think he knew something but he wandered right into the hunting area. And, wouldn't you know it?
(SHE puts a finger to her head like a gun and makes gunshot noise.)
Just like that. Really quick, too. The hunter found him immediately and tried to get help but it was too late. A friend of my uncle's, actually. They used to hunt together all the time. And he just felt terrible. Never forgave himself. Even stopped hunting for a while. And, after his funeral, that's when I found out. I was pregnant with...
(SHE looks at ROBYN then at ALEXIS)
...you.
(Beat) I wanted to keep you but my mom wouldn't let me. She said that the baby was going to bring bad spirits on the family. She even closed Blackbird Perch after that. Sold it. She said it had bad juju. I never really believed that kind of stuff. But she marched me right to the clinic and signed me up to have you adopted. I never even got to hold you in the hospital. They took you right away. But I was always mad about it. So, when my mom died last year, I made up my mind to try to find you.

I'll Have What She's Having By Karen Jeynes

I'll Have What She's Having
By Karen Jeynes
Mpumi is a lawyer from Joburg, in her late twenties. She arrives early at a restaurant. She is meeting her boyfriend, who she hopes will propose. She is annoyed to find that two tourists,  Louis and his wife Jeanette, are sitting at "her" usual table. While she is waiting for her boyfriend, Jeanette is loudly talking on a cell phone to friends back home. Finally, when she starts barking at a friend's dog over the phone, Mpumi loses her temper.
MPUMI



I don't know which rock or bush you people crawled out from, but here in the civilized world, we do not have conversations with animals on our cellphones. We do not raise our voices when talking on our cellphones. I don't know if you're familiar with the device, but you don't actually have to shout all the way to Pofadder, the technology transmits your voice signal through the air like magic! And when we are in civilized restaurants we do not cause chaos and disrupt other restaurant goers attempting to have an adult meal, and not deal with two small children who are treating the whole occasion like a day out at the funfair. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go back to that skanky table in the back, and I'd be really grateful if you two could manage not to disturb me for the rest of my meal.

Another paradise by Donna Spector

Another Paradise

By Donna Spector

Set in Paradise, Kentucky, Another Paradise is a full-length memory play narrated by two women, Birdie Mae Tyler, and her daughter Neva, both on a journey of self-discovery. In this monologue, Neva, age 30, talks to her mother about being ashamed of her family. Neva is very elegant, and speaks with a genteel Southern accent.
NEVA:
You see, Ma, it wasn't that I didn't love you. Daddy, too. But I wanted us to be ACCEPTABLE, Ma. And we weren't. I wanted us to be middle class. Educated. I wasn't ever going to be laughed at again. Did you know I was laughed at, Ma?
(Touches BIRDIE MAE's shoulder.) First for my poverty, then for my accent when I went to college. Oh, yes, we all had accents, Ma, but I sounded like poor country folk. Which we were. My words were different. And if I hadn't been so goddamned beautiful, Ma, and so smart, I never would have been accepted.
And still it wasn't easy. When I married Aaron, I said it made no difference that he was Jewish. But it did, Ma.
(BIRDIE MAE freezes, standing down center. While speaking, NEVA gives her shawl to her mother and places elegant combs in her hair, adjusting her to appear more elegant.) So I did what I had to do. I made you rich, elegant. I said Daddy was educated. I know you think he was, and I suppose compared to you he seemed so, but he wasn't really, Ma. Oh, the world is not an easy place; you have to fight to live in it. And it wasn't pure invention, just exaggeration... a little distortion here and there. But I always loved you.
I will never mention this again, Ma. I will tell our story the way it should have been, the way it is. I will set you free.
(NEVA's voice becomes shy and girlish.) There's something I've been wanting to tell you, Ma. A dream I keep having, and it's so strange. You see, in this dream I'm all alone on a summer's night, and there are little breezes blowing around me. I hear crickets and smell honeysuckle drifting in the moonlight. My hair is silky, and I feel it on my shoulders. And then... 
(Laughs apologetically.) ...I realize I'm naked and standing on a barn roof. Well, there's no one around to see me, but I feel so lovely I wouldn't care anyway. I move around a little, but I'm very careful not to fall off. And then... I look up, and I see you, Ma, dancing in the clouds. You look so beautiful, Ma. I... I call: Ma! But you don't seem to hear me, so I reach up to you, and I... I force myself to rise up, up to where you're having such a good time, because I want to dance with you, but... 
(Her voice becomes whining, tearfully despairing, as though she cannot comprehend this at all.) ...before I can get there, I always wake up. (She reaches toward BIRDIE MAE, who is dancing away in the clouds.)

Dementia by Donna Spector

Dementia

By Donna Spector

Dementia is a comedy/drama about an improvisational theater troupe in Berkeley, 1969, era of the Vietnam War, a theater troupe that wanted to save the world but couldn't save itself. Eden is an actor in her early 20's, a flower child and free spirit in the theatre troupe. She performs this monologue in a coffee house.
EDEN
(As a spot picks her up, she puts on a hat, gloves and shawl.)
Hi! I'm the weather lady.
(Points to an imaginary map.)
As you can see, in the Northeast it's very cold. Snow and sleet all over New England as a storm moves down from Canada. Temperatures down near zero.
(She shivers.)
By Tuesday the snow will hit New York. Predictions are for a possible three feet of snow, so be prepared.
(She draws her shawl tighter.)
It's just terrible when the weather gets like this, isn't it? I personally couldn't stand it. But if you have to live there, remember the animals. Don't wear fur or leather, okay? Think of the little minks, raccoons, cows that could be alive right now and adding their lovely vibrations to the atmosphere.
(Points to map.)
However. Moving on down south, the weather is much nicer. I could stand to live in the Carolinas, where the temperature is still in the mid-60's.
(She removes her hat.)
Down here in Florida it's quite pleasant, which is what you'd expect in Florida. I mean, that's why people retire here, isn't it? Temperatures in the upper 70's to low 80's. Very lovely.
(Removes her gloves.)
I suggest moving to Key West. Very arty, and at sunset people all gather to watch the sun go down. When it dives into the water, people clap. Did you know that?
(Removes her shawl. Points to map.)
Moving on into Texas, things are really warming up. Whew! Upper 80's and in Dallas the mid-90's.
(She unbuttons her dress.)
No wonder presidents get shot in Dallas.
(Points to map.)
But if you think that's bad, look at the far west. California is undergoing a terrific heat wave. Temperatures up near 100.
(Drops her dress to floor, wipes her face and armpits.)
Really hot here. Lord, I just couldn't take it! And the smog alert in Los Angeles. Why people can't go outside, and if they do, they have to run for cover. That's sick, don't you think? And I'll tell you why, it's the horrible pollution, which is the fault of all those big corporations and the Republicans who support them and vote down all our environmental protection bills in Congress. Think about it.
(She's now in her bra and underpants.)
So, that's all for now. See you next time.
(Big smile at the "camera." Offstage, actors applaud.)

Strip talk on the Boulevard by Donna Spector

Strip Talk on the Boulevard

By Donna Spector

Sally, 30, manages a drugstore on Hollywood Boulevard. She tells her dream to Marty, a customer and new friend, as she puts makeup on Marty's face.
SALLY:
I was working in this place like Las Vegas, all lights and mirrors, but dark, y'know. Like how they never know whether it's day or night, and the clocks don't work. But I'm all in red spangles, my hair curled, and red fish net tights with these high-heeled red shoes like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. I'm serving burgers and fries from a runway that's moving past slot machines where all these people are shoving in cash. You hear the machines going CLONK! TINGLE-TINGLE-TINGLE! And they play these Bugs Bunny tunes whenever someone wins. Most of the people are old and wrinkled, all silent like piles of mashed potatoes with arms that keep shoving in the coins and pulling down the levers. Their faces change colors--gold, red, blue, green--from the slot machine lights whirling around. There's a man's voice, too, coming outta what would be the sky, like God, only it's this blue ceiling with star lights. He's talking real soft and smooth, like God on Valium. Down below the runway all these men in tight, shiny dark suits, black shirts, white ties and black hats with a cheesy white band are grabbing at my feet. I kick at their hands, because I'm busy, I got a job to do. But what I don't do is jab my pointy heels into the soft part of their hands. After all, they're just dumb guys, and everybody's hungry. I dunno what they're hungry for, but it ain't really me, and it ain't burgers and fries. I start crying a little, my mascara running down my face, then I'm sobbing so hard I'm getting the food all soggy, and pretty soon everybody else is sobbing. All the old folks at the slot machines, and the guys in the dark suits, we sound like a bunch of hungry kids in a abandoned nursery. We're so goddamned noisy we drown out the voice of God. 

Hanging women by Donna Spector

Hanging Women

By Donna Spector

Peony, 25, talks with her sister, Celandine. The mother she refers to in the first line is Alicia.
PEONY:
Ma's right, Celandine. I always loved men. Men and freedom, nobody telling me what to do. Why, I'd run away every night if I could. I love that moment when you take off, just getting out of here. You've got no idea where you're going, or how, or if you've got enough money. You never take a suitcase to slow you down, just a big purse with lipstick, comb, underpants, Tampax and condoms, because probably you'll end up in some guy's bed. 
You'll meet him in a 7-11 over by the Doritos. He'll be big and shaggy and kinda nasty-looking, with a cigarette or a toothpick hanging out of the side of his mouth. He'll look you over and just say, "C'mon, Babe," and you'll think he could of murdered his mother an hour ago and I should stay right here. But even thinking that gets you so excited, you follow him like a magnet out to his Harley, and the two of you go screeching down the Arizona highway to his shack in the mountains. He hands you a beer, but before you can drink it, he's got you up against the wall and you fuck like crazy animals. After you've done it everywhere in his tiny shack and you're oily wet and wiped out, you get the giggles because you feel so free. And he says, "Wanna stay?" but you say no. 
So you finish your beers, and he drives you all the way home just so you can run away the next night and meet a married schoolteacher in the supermarket. You do it with him in the back seat of his Saab in the parking lot while all the people are walking by and he's whispering Shakespeare in your ear that makes you come about fifty times. 
Next night you run away you meet a lawyer in a bar, and he takes you to the bridal suite in Howard Johnson's. He orders room service--champagne, caviar and snails. Which makes you feel nauseated but fancy. He wants you to dance for him, naked, in your sparkling heels. You do, and suddenly he's all over you and showing you stuff you only heard about. When he takes you home, your whole idea about fucking is rearranged and you can hardly wait to run away again.