Under the rainbow by Lisa Huberman

Under the Rainbow

By Lisa Huberman

Daphne, 20, seems to have it all. A former geek, she now has a smart, gorgeous boyfriend and an apartment located in the center of the campus social scene. And yet she continually finds herself seeking solace in the company of Rick, the sweet, awkward library worker with a passion for the Wizard of Oz books. Daphne gains not only a new appreciation for Oz, but also a new understanding of herself.

In this monologue, Daphne confesses her inner fears and insecurities to Rick.

DAPHNE:

I'm an adult now. You look at me and you see someone who is stable who dresses well. Well put together. But I look in the mirror and I'm still the awkward 13-year-old in the back of the class who can't keep her mouth shut, brings avocado sandwiches to school and could only afford to shop at the thrift shops. Whose middle school crushes turned out to be gay or in love with the prettier girls. I look in the mirror and still see her. And I'm terrified that if I'm not careful she's going to come out and then everything will be ruined. Everything I've worked for - transferring here, learning how to do my makeup, going through therapy. Will all go away. And everyone will see I'm just a mess. That's crazy, isn't it?

You must think I'm a psycho now, huh?

Great, now I've freaked you out because once again I don't know when to just shut up and let people assume the best about me.

---

Daphne uses characters from the Oz books to work through her feelings about Rick, after she discovers he is mentally disabled.

DAPHNE:

You know what I could never get past?

In Tik Tok of Oz when Dorothy finds out that Toto can talk.

In the book Dorothy gets over it in a minute. But I never bought that shit. Dorothy must have felt pretty stupid when she found out. She must have been thinking, wow, everyone else knew Toto could talk and me, his best friend didn't even notice, I must be a complete idiot. If I were Dorothy, I would have put on Ozma's magic belt and have it take me anywhere - to some neglected corner of Quadling Country or across the desert and to the Kingdom of IX.

I'll bet she wishes she never found out.

They both might have been a lot happier.